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Mother's Day Stories from Romania

Seldom are we presented with the opportunity to fundamentally change, for the better, a single persons life. These are the stories of women who chose to restore one of God’s greatest gifts – a mother’s love - to orphaned, abused and disabled children thus changing utterly, fundamentally - for the better - a child’s life.

Nicoleta’s story

One day Magdi stopped in the RCE adoption office for what she thought would be a quick chat with an old friend. Only it turned out to be a divine appointment that would change her life.  Adoption was not on Magdi’s mind that morning.  She and her husband already had two children. Life was hard in Romania and even with two salaries it was hard to make ends meet - but that was the norm in their village and they felt settled and blessed as a family.

It was settled until she saw the picture of a little abandoned girl on a poster in the RCE office.  There were many other little faces but she couldn’t take her eyes off of a waif like little girl named Nicoleta.  Magdi borrowed the picture and went home to tell her husband what they needed to do.

Nicoleta had briefly known a mother’s love until her mother died of cancer when she was only three years old.  The only thing worse than being abandoned at birth is being abandoned when you are old enough to know what you have lost.

Deep emotional scars were inflicted on Nicoleta during the next three years until Magdi walked into the RCE office and saw her picture. She and the hundreds of other children in the state orphanage spent up to 15 hours a day in dirty, wet cribs. They ate mush. They were cold in winter and hot and covered with mosquito bites and skin rashes in the summer. Life was unbearable.

After Magdi’s husband heard Nicoleta’s story, he agreed that this was what God was calling them to do. They discussed the adoption with their sons and a few months later were on a train bound for Iasi. They traveled twelve hours by train, over the Carpathian Mountains, clutching her picture and praying all the way wondering at times what on earth they were doing.  She was more beautiful and more sad than her picture and she clung to them like her life depended on it on the train ride home.

And they all lived happily ever after. But not for a long time! “Adopting Nicoleta was the hardest thing we have ever done,” Magdi said says now looking back. “We had no idea at the time what it would cost our family in emotional pain.”

Nicoleta suffered from ‘attachment disorder’, common in orphanage children. And she was so terrified of being returned to the orphanage that she ‘tested’ her mother’s love continually. Sometimes holding on so tight she left bruises on Magdi’s arms other times striking out at her in often public and very noisy tantrums.

The family nightmare lasted for about three years. It seemed like forever at the time. But they held on with the support of RCE, their church and extended family and with the sure knowledge that God had called them to do this thing not because it was easy but because it was right.

Over time God healed Nicoleta’s wounds through the tender mercies of a mother’s love.  And music helped.  In a family of gifted musicians Nicoleta began music lessons and her music helped her heal. When you see her now playing a piece during the church service, intense and focused, or watch her chasing around afterward with her friends it is hard to imagine where she would be today if Magdi had not been willing to pay the price of loving mercy as God requires.

Teo's Story

Teo was born into a poor and troubled family in a poor and troubled country.  His parents left him at a state orphanage when he was two years old after they discovered his illness. He never saw them again.  Teo has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (a progressive disease that attacks all the muscles of the body including respiratory muscles and the heart.)

Life in a Romanian orphanage is horrible for any child, it is worse for the sick and disabled. Teo spent three years in unspeakable conditions before he was rescued by God’s people through RCE and brought into their small group home called Darius House (DH). DH was designed for children like Teo and there he experienced love for the first time in his young life – along with much needed medical care and
physical therapy.

Mariana met Teo at Darius House and God gave her a special love for him – and a desire to adopt him. Mariana is an attractive young professional, a single woman very active in her church community with a large extended family - and her decision to adopt a special needs child was initially met with considerable skepticism.

It wasn’t that she was unaware of the ramifications.  In fact, Mariana had been provided detailed information about his medical condition from the RCE staff.  But her response to Teo’s suffering did not come from easily assuaged sentimentally rather it was firmly grounded in an understanding that God calls His people to ‘act’ justly.  Her action would restore to Teo his God given right to be a son.

Mariana got lots of advise from well-meaning friends - including rather pointed comments from some about what this would do to her marriage prospects! Others suggested a solution short of adoption, something like foster care or a trial period.
She listened and then she acted according to what she understood God was calling her to do. “ God did not take me in on a trial basis, or as a foster children in case it didn’t work out.  God adopted me, made me his daughter.  I want to be Teo’s mother not his caregiver.” And adopt him she did, two years ago.

It has been said that parents are so important God provided two sets of backup. When children are abandoned they not only lose a mother and father but but grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. All that was restored to Teo. He will soon celebrate his 10th birthday in his new home. The color he picked for his room is a little wild. But sons get to choose.

While other children grow strong, Teo will grow weak.  Other children can dream about their future. Teo does not have one. His life will be short and his death painful probably in his late teens or early twenties. But he will not be alone.
Mariana is giving Teo a mother’s love, the greatest gift possible. However, if you were to ask her she would say what she has received is greater than what she has given. Such is the mystery of the kingdom of God. 

Robi and Cici’s story

Compassion, as opposed to mere emotion, is active, purposeful, committed, and more often than not, difficult.

Elena met Robi and Cici at a RCE group home a year after their rescue from a brutal life far away in a remote region of the Transylvanian Mountains.  Robi remembers trying to protect his little sister from the drunken rages of their father - hiding for days in the forest trying to stay warm in a hollowed tree covered in newspaper and foliage.  They both remember the day their father punished Cici by cutting off a finger - she was about four and he six at the time.  When the authorities removed the children and brought them to RCE their interaction with adults had been so limited they communicated in a ‘made up’ language only they understood.

Elena’s husband worked with RCE, tutoring the children so they could go to school one day.  He couldn’t stop talking about their story and kept pushing her to come meet them.  But meeting Robi and Cici was the last thing she wanted to do. Not only was she afraid to see their suffering but she knew her husband wanted to bring them home.  Elena had been giving him all the valid reasons why they couldn’t possibly adopt two children. They had no extra money, no room in their tiny apartment, two other children to consider, and certainly no training to meet the needs of emotionally and physically scared children.  All true, he agreed, but didn’t give up asking.

In order to put an end to the kind but unrealistic idea of adoption, Elena agreed. She steeled herself emotionally and determined to remain the voice of reason. Reason, however, was replaced by compassion.  She knew at once that God would help them find a way. RCE was that way, they helped the family with a long- term non-interest loan to purchase a larger apartment, and provided ongoing assistance for medical and educational needs.

Robi and Cici got two older brothers who love them in the deal along with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and a whole church family as well.
Today Robi, who is very bright, attends an academically rigorous private Christian junior high, and makes high marks.  Cici needs a special school and finds learning difficult but she loves to help her new mother bake beautiful Romanian cakes and cookies and she has gradually come to realize her families’ love is constant, unconditional, and like God’s love for her- will never fail.

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